Through the fuzzy darkness, Chloe strained her eyes to see the clock. 2:36 am. Damnit, she thought. Maybe it's too hot in here. The entire bed felt too warm, her body heat having transferred over the course of the past few hours. Tearing the bed clothes off of her legs, she cursed that raccoon intrusion incident that forced her to shut her windows every night since then.
[Back in the Spring, Chloe had made the mistake of leaving her bedroom window open, which was located on the fire escape. This being Chinatown, not only was her apartment not furnished with an oven, but it also lacked window screens. She never saw the thing, but evidence of the raccoon was everywhere when she returned home late one night. Sooty footprints betrayed its run of every square foot in her apartment... it trekked across the white bedspread, overturned the bookcase, splashed around in the toilet, then rummaged around the papers on her desk before going on its merry way back out the window.]
Aside from the uncomfortable temperature, something else weighed on Chloe's mind. Jenkins. It was one of those names that's common in theory but rare in practice. She couldn't shake the memory of the events earlier that day at the cemetery, and, feeling that there must be some depth to the story, she resolved to look into the matter more thoroughly in the morning.
It's so damn hot. Then, Chloe remembered an old trick. Flipping the pillow over, her cheek met its cool underbelly, and she fell asleep.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
the meeting
It was again that time of year for the trip to the cemetery. Autumn, Chloe's favorite season, had settled in with a whisper, scurrying the dead remnants of summer's growth over the earth. The air was chill, and it tore through the buttonholes of her cardigan as she pedalled fast, careening down the slope of 5th Avenue, past Union and 1st, then up, and then down again.
The sun had already begun its descent into New Jersey, but it was still bright in a clear sky, and Chloe had a few hours yet. She was always late, even to her own planned-upon outings. At what point will she finally change her ways? She imagined she'd finally learn, someday, to be one of those who always arrives early, calm and collected, having perhaps spent the past half hour at the bar with a scotch, or having taken a stroll in the nearby park. Chloe always envied those people, as if this issue were something she couldn't actually, easily, change (she couldn't).
Having finally reached 25th street, and nearly run over twice by speeding Mack trucks, Chloe arrived at the iron gates of Greenwood. They towered over her in all their Gothic glory. Locking up the bike, she crossed the pathway and headed straight for the first grassy hill. Days on end of nothing but hostile pavement made the soft earth seem cloudlike under her moccasins. It gave way to her weight, and felt natural, serene.
Having walked ten minutes now into the vast graveyard, Chloe realized she hadn't seen another person since she entered. Looking around it appeared deserted, and she figured that maybe it was too chilly a day to be out at a cemetery. Maybe she shouldn't be here, either. The sun was ever descending, and the cold ever more biting. (Of course, she forgot her coat.)
A sudden gust blew over the tops of the hills, and among the whirlwind of leaves, a flash of bright green. Chloe turned her head quickly to follow it, and watched a green parrot alight on a low branch. Of course, everyone knows the story of the green parrots of Greenwood. Sometime back in the 70s, someone at JFK opened a suspicious crate, letting escape hundreds of exotic monk parrots, who eventually found their way to Greenwood, where they made the cemetery their home.
The wild bird looked at Chloe with the one-eye bird stare, cocking its head to one side, then took flight towards a mass of trees around a mausoleum at the top of a nearby hill. Chloe followed, thinking with slight amusement that this scene would be a nicelead-in sequence to a horror film.
Nearing the mausoleum, she noticed the door ajar, and the bird, peering down at her, sat atop a cornice above the engraved name "JENKINS." She craned her neck to better see inside the cavernous space. It was dark, and a hint of stained glass light shone on the floor. As she drew closer, she could feel the damp, cold air.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Startled, Chloe jumped, turning around abruptly.
Elderly and staring with uncomfortable intent at Chloe, she wore a fuchsia silk dress with covered buttons, her hair pulled back neatly, a cashmere coat over her shoulders, with a bouquet of peonies in both hands. She stood still, feet clad in black pumps planted equally firm in the soft ground.
"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't realize anyone was here..."
"Do you think that means you may go barging into strangers' resting places? For shame!"
Chloe clutched at the camera strung about her neck.
"You young people are always coming out here, up to no good with your cameras and such nonsense, making pictures where you oughtn't."
"I'm very sorry..." As Chloe started walking away from this horrible situation, the woman held her pose, turning her head to follow Chloe with her eyes, until Chloe was just beyond a large old tree. After about twenty uneasy paces, Chloe turned to gaze back at the woman, and she hadn't moved an inch, rigid as a gravestone.
The sun had already begun its descent into New Jersey, but it was still bright in a clear sky, and Chloe had a few hours yet. She was always late, even to her own planned-upon outings. At what point will she finally change her ways? She imagined she'd finally learn, someday, to be one of those who always arrives early, calm and collected, having perhaps spent the past half hour at the bar with a scotch, or having taken a stroll in the nearby park. Chloe always envied those people, as if this issue were something she couldn't actually, easily, change (she couldn't).
Having finally reached 25th street, and nearly run over twice by speeding Mack trucks, Chloe arrived at the iron gates of Greenwood. They towered over her in all their Gothic glory. Locking up the bike, she crossed the pathway and headed straight for the first grassy hill. Days on end of nothing but hostile pavement made the soft earth seem cloudlike under her moccasins. It gave way to her weight, and felt natural, serene.
Having walked ten minutes now into the vast graveyard, Chloe realized she hadn't seen another person since she entered. Looking around it appeared deserted, and she figured that maybe it was too chilly a day to be out at a cemetery. Maybe she shouldn't be here, either. The sun was ever descending, and the cold ever more biting. (Of course, she forgot her coat.)
A sudden gust blew over the tops of the hills, and among the whirlwind of leaves, a flash of bright green. Chloe turned her head quickly to follow it, and watched a green parrot alight on a low branch. Of course, everyone knows the story of the green parrots of Greenwood. Sometime back in the 70s, someone at JFK opened a suspicious crate, letting escape hundreds of exotic monk parrots, who eventually found their way to Greenwood, where they made the cemetery their home.
The wild bird looked at Chloe with the one-eye bird stare, cocking its head to one side, then took flight towards a mass of trees around a mausoleum at the top of a nearby hill. Chloe followed, thinking with slight amusement that this scene would be a nicelead-in sequence to a horror film.
Nearing the mausoleum, she noticed the door ajar, and the bird, peering down at her, sat atop a cornice above the engraved name "JENKINS." She craned her neck to better see inside the cavernous space. It was dark, and a hint of stained glass light shone on the floor. As she drew closer, she could feel the damp, cold air.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Startled, Chloe jumped, turning around abruptly.
Elderly and staring with uncomfortable intent at Chloe, she wore a fuchsia silk dress with covered buttons, her hair pulled back neatly, a cashmere coat over her shoulders, with a bouquet of peonies in both hands. She stood still, feet clad in black pumps planted equally firm in the soft ground.
"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't realize anyone was here..."
"Do you think that means you may go barging into strangers' resting places? For shame!"
Chloe clutched at the camera strung about her neck.
"You young people are always coming out here, up to no good with your cameras and such nonsense, making pictures where you oughtn't."
"I'm very sorry..." As Chloe started walking away from this horrible situation, the woman held her pose, turning her head to follow Chloe with her eyes, until Chloe was just beyond a large old tree. After about twenty uneasy paces, Chloe turned to gaze back at the woman, and she hadn't moved an inch, rigid as a gravestone.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Poor Peeved Phebes
Phebe was pissed. "I can't believe she did such a terrible job. I mean, I went through all of that pain and the hair is still there. It literally looks like I never had it done."
Just like every second week of the month for the past three years, Phebe had been going to the same lady for a Brazilian wax at a clandestine, semi-questionable top-floor salon in Soho. All of their services were dirt cheap but generally they did a good job, and Phebe was always happy with the quality of Helena's Brazilian wax services.
"And of course, this had to be the time that I get it done the night before I leave on a trip to the Bahamas with Steve, when it's really going to matter. Now what am I going to do?"
"Poor Phebes," thought Chloe. "She really got the full wrath of the bikini wax gods this time."
Just like every second week of the month for the past three years, Phebe had been going to the same lady for a Brazilian wax at a clandestine, semi-questionable top-floor salon in Soho. All of their services were dirt cheap but generally they did a good job, and Phebe was always happy with the quality of Helena's Brazilian wax services.
"And of course, this had to be the time that I get it done the night before I leave on a trip to the Bahamas with Steve, when it's really going to matter. Now what am I going to do?"
"Poor Phebes," thought Chloe. "She really got the full wrath of the bikini wax gods this time."
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Of One Ward Jenkins
In the summer of her 27th year, Louise came to know one Ward Jenkins, Avian Pathologist of Greenwood Heights. Having just completed a short stint as an assistant gardener, Louise took a receptionist position at Mr. Jenkins's home practice in his Victorian mansion, which had been passed down to him from his great grandmother Cecile Jenkins.
When, on interview day, she ambled up the wooden steps and met the eyes of Ward Jenkins, she sized up his dapper countenance, with dress shirt and tailored pants, and instantly detested him and his kind. That too-sure-of-oneself attitude, conventional good looks, inflated ego. She could tell right away.
The interview went well, even though she couldn't stand the the thought of working for this man, or boy, really, and since no other jobs turned up, she reluctantly accepted his offer when he called the next week.
Her desk sat awkwardly on the parlour floor, just to the right of the front door. The dead birds were usually carried in shoe boxes, or sometimes still in their elaborate cages, by their teary-eyed owners, who demanded answers as to why their beloved birds had crossed over into the world of the dead.
Louise would come to learn that Ward, just one year her senior, was highly regarded in town as an exceptional professional in his field. He gave speeches at seminars almost every week, and received numerous accolades for his research. Aside from his professional success, he was wittily funny, kind, and off kilter in an approachable way. Needless to say, everyone in town loved him, and Louise detested him even more, for his success compared to her lack thereof.
Ward Jenkins had decided upon his life's work early on, at the age of eight, when, one sunny day, his pet cockatiel named Marty had begun making choking noises in his large domed cage. When Ward came to see to his precious Marty, the poor bird abruptly released its foothold on its perch, and for the first and last time in his glorious, pink-feathered life, Marty fell through the air to the bottom of the cage where he lay motionless, breast side up, curled and twitching talons in the air. Apparently, little Ward Jenkins screamed with such wild, helpless despair so loudly that he gave his grandmother Cecile, upstairs sewing in her bedroom, a heart attack.
After the funeral, Ward gave Marty the Cockatiel a proper burial as well, sobbing in fear of what other misfortunes the world would rain down upon him. He wanted answers to explain Marty's death, but Avian Pathologists didn't exist in those days, and that fact fortified Little Ward Jenkins with the resolve to help others who had been through what he had been through.
When Louise learned his story, her hard heart developed a soft spot for Ward Jenkins, and over the months, it grew. One day in the Spring, Louise came down into the basement examination room, where Ward was hunched over the carcass of an Upper East side socialite's deceased macaw. Under the solitary yellow light triangle of the ceiling lamp, she caught his warm brown eyes, shimmering the reflection of parrot blood.
From then on, Louise could think of nothing other than Ward Jenkins, star Avian Pathologist.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Queen Louise / Windy Hell
Louise, Queen of Greenwood, sat serenely, ringed fingers pressed firmly together on the armrest of her high-backed chair. It was an antique, from her Great Aunt's estate, once commissioned by some King of Belgium. Through the large window of her living room, she gazed below, surveying the roofs of all of those who lived below her; which was everybody in a 50 block radius, hers being the highest dwelling, a 5th floor walk-up on the tallest hill in Brooklyn next to the the old Victorian cemetery. High and mighty, she reigned over that Windy Hell, seeing all the way to the sea and its ships on her throne of mahogany and velvet.
Louise wore only the finest silk blouses and cashmere skirts from Bergdorf's, bought for her by her Great Aunt back in the 70's when she was still a young and beautiful woman, all now threadbare and moth-bitten but still luxurious on her skin. In the quiet of her palace, the hostile wind that swept unrelenting over the land battered the hanging Swedish Ivy on her wrought iron balcony, so hard that that it knocked impatiently against the glass of the french door. She wished that plant would just finally fucking shatter that glass into a thousand shards and land in a crash of crystal upon her impeccable varnished wood floor, so that the whirl of dead leaves would barge in with the wind and take her with it, back out over the lowlands, the roofs full of satellites and cell phone towers, through the street canyons alongside plastic bag tumbleweeds, down the hill, out to the sea.
Louise wore only the finest silk blouses and cashmere skirts from Bergdorf's, bought for her by her Great Aunt back in the 70's when she was still a young and beautiful woman, all now threadbare and moth-bitten but still luxurious on her skin. In the quiet of her palace, the hostile wind that swept unrelenting over the land battered the hanging Swedish Ivy on her wrought iron balcony, so hard that that it knocked impatiently against the glass of the french door. She wished that plant would just finally fucking shatter that glass into a thousand shards and land in a crash of crystal upon her impeccable varnished wood floor, so that the whirl of dead leaves would barge in with the wind and take her with it, back out over the lowlands, the roofs full of satellites and cell phone towers, through the street canyons alongside plastic bag tumbleweeds, down the hill, out to the sea.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
a bird on bowery
It was a cool sun that shone down on Bowery. It was not nearly noon yet, though the streets were already crowded with delivery trucks and taxi cabs. Suddenly, the corner of Chloe's eye caught a red object barreling down towards Grand Street. She turned to look just in time to catch a woman in a red dress tumble off her bike, the contents of her bicycle basket spilling out on the road, chief among them a whole rotisserie chicken, which continued rolling, sans its clear plastic shell, with such force that it hopped the curb and stopped at Chloe's now-stopped feet.
Not sure what the proper social protocol would be in such a situation (that is, one that involves a bicycle accident, some produce, and a rotisserie chicken), she went to help the woman, who appeared to be in her mid-40s, with straight brown hair and a huge straw hat. But she had already gotten up, and so Chloe picked up the herbed bird carcass in her bare hands, its homey fragrance an alien amid the noise and chaos of the street.
She stood there as the woman walked her bike to the curb and sat down there, laboring an exasperated "thank you." Chloe sat down next to her in solidarity, her hands outstretched and dripping with chicken fat, as they both stared in silence into the middle of the street where the taxis and trucks made garbage of the woman's lettuce and Gouda.
Not sure what the proper social protocol would be in such a situation (that is, one that involves a bicycle accident, some produce, and a rotisserie chicken), she went to help the woman, who appeared to be in her mid-40s, with straight brown hair and a huge straw hat. But she had already gotten up, and so Chloe picked up the herbed bird carcass in her bare hands, its homey fragrance an alien amid the noise and chaos of the street.
She stood there as the woman walked her bike to the curb and sat down there, laboring an exasperated "thank you." Chloe sat down next to her in solidarity, her hands outstretched and dripping with chicken fat, as they both stared in silence into the middle of the street where the taxis and trucks made garbage of the woman's lettuce and Gouda.
Friday, March 13, 2009
strewn owls
Once, Chloe asked Ewan how she and him met (she and him being, of course, not that famous singing duo, but Ewan and his girlfriend, Heather.)
"That's a fine story!"
They were sitting at the bar at Clandestino, awaiting the arrival of said girlfriend.
[How nice it must be, thought Chloe, to be called upon, somewhat regularly, to tell a personal story that is so upliftingly positive, emotionally, for the teller, that his eyes become one thousand percent more bright and his posture that of a proud robin on a spring morning. To say the least, Ewan certainly did enjoy telling the story.]
"The fact that she was once Laurel's roommate was not by accident!.."
"Really?..." [How was Chloe unaware? She had just thought it mere coincidence..]
"Absolutely, you didn't think it was mere coincidence, did you?"
At this, Chloe thought that "mere" was a strange word. After a moment, she thought to answer him, which came out in a rather dejected tone, "yes."
"Well! So, you know that Laurel and I were friends (quite platonic, you understand, for quite some time)..."
[Yes, and I also know that meantime Laurel fell in love with you and your charming ways and still is to this day, much to her detriment.]
"..Well, you see, the first time I came to visit her at her apartment, I had the first inkling of Heather. Laurel played that Magnetic Fields album The Wayward Bus while she made me some dinner. I had asked, ' is this your music?,' because, really, I didn't believe Laurel would be playing Magnetic Fields.."
[It was true, in all honesty, Laurel rather preferred bands like Animal Collective and TV On the Radio. Chloe hated this about Laurel.]
.."And she said, no, it's Heather's. And I thought, 'Heather, who is that?' Heather, who was not home at the time, was, as I quickly discovered, a ghostly roommate, and I did not see her the next ten times I visited Laurel, even though I tried to make it happen. The next time I visited, I peered into Heather's room and caught sight of her guitar hanging on the wall next to her bed, and the various incarnations of owls strewn about her room. I loved the things she owned. The artwork, the furniture, the kitchen utensils, I would come soon to find, were all hers, and I loved it all! And it all just snowballed from there. I believe it was the fourth or fifth time, when I saw that Eric Rohmer VHS sitting on a shelf under the TV, that I felt a strong connection to this person I had never met. I knew that the Rohmer movie wasn't Laurel's, and I didn't even have to ask her this time, because I now felt that I knew Heather, and I was in love. Can you believe it? I could even picture her, without ever having seen a photo of her! I kept this all to myself, you understand, because I wasn't quite sure how to bring it up... So really it's a story not about how we met, but about how I met her."
Chloe was speechless. It must have shown in her face, because Ewan went on... [or maybe it didn't show in her face, and Ewan was as self-centered as Chloe feared him to be...]
"And the craziest part about this whole long, drawn-out story, is that, when I finally met Heather, in human form, not as a summation of all her belongings and tastes, she was exactly as I imagined her. And at that moment, I knew. I knew that there was, and there would be, no one else for me."
And with that, Chloe quickly requested the check from bartender and promptly made a gracious exit out the side door.
"That's a fine story!"
They were sitting at the bar at Clandestino, awaiting the arrival of said girlfriend.
[How nice it must be, thought Chloe, to be called upon, somewhat regularly, to tell a personal story that is so upliftingly positive, emotionally, for the teller, that his eyes become one thousand percent more bright and his posture that of a proud robin on a spring morning. To say the least, Ewan certainly did enjoy telling the story.]
"The fact that she was once Laurel's roommate was not by accident!.."
"Really?..." [How was Chloe unaware? She had just thought it mere coincidence..]
"Absolutely, you didn't think it was mere coincidence, did you?"
At this, Chloe thought that "mere" was a strange word. After a moment, she thought to answer him, which came out in a rather dejected tone, "yes."
"Well! So, you know that Laurel and I were friends (quite platonic, you understand, for quite some time)..."
[Yes, and I also know that meantime Laurel fell in love with you and your charming ways and still is to this day, much to her detriment.]
"..Well, you see, the first time I came to visit her at her apartment, I had the first inkling of Heather. Laurel played that Magnetic Fields album The Wayward Bus while she made me some dinner. I had asked, ' is this your music?,' because, really, I didn't believe Laurel would be playing Magnetic Fields.."
[It was true, in all honesty, Laurel rather preferred bands like Animal Collective and TV On the Radio. Chloe hated this about Laurel.]
.."And she said, no, it's Heather's. And I thought, 'Heather, who is that?' Heather, who was not home at the time, was, as I quickly discovered, a ghostly roommate, and I did not see her the next ten times I visited Laurel, even though I tried to make it happen. The next time I visited, I peered into Heather's room and caught sight of her guitar hanging on the wall next to her bed, and the various incarnations of owls strewn about her room. I loved the things she owned. The artwork, the furniture, the kitchen utensils, I would come soon to find, were all hers, and I loved it all! And it all just snowballed from there. I believe it was the fourth or fifth time, when I saw that Eric Rohmer VHS sitting on a shelf under the TV, that I felt a strong connection to this person I had never met. I knew that the Rohmer movie wasn't Laurel's, and I didn't even have to ask her this time, because I now felt that I knew Heather, and I was in love. Can you believe it? I could even picture her, without ever having seen a photo of her! I kept this all to myself, you understand, because I wasn't quite sure how to bring it up... So really it's a story not about how we met, but about how I met her."
Chloe was speechless. It must have shown in her face, because Ewan went on... [or maybe it didn't show in her face, and Ewan was as self-centered as Chloe feared him to be...]
"And the craziest part about this whole long, drawn-out story, is that, when I finally met Heather, in human form, not as a summation of all her belongings and tastes, she was exactly as I imagined her. And at that moment, I knew. I knew that there was, and there would be, no one else for me."
And with that, Chloe quickly requested the check from bartender and promptly made a gracious exit out the side door.
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